Negative Self-Talk: 10 Life-Changing Tips for Optimizing Your Well-Being

By Tom Masters

We all think and when we’re judging or self-criticizing ourselves, we are involved with negative self-talk. Besides making us feel poorly mentally and emotionally, we unknowingly weaken the body.

Therefore, with our focus here at Long Life League on ‘Deliberate Good Health & Abundance’, it’s vitally important to practice changing any weak thinking with powerful thoughts. It may take some practice initially but the effort is, oh, so worth it!

Listen to Yourself

Self-talk is a powerful force, one with the ability to either stop you cold or send you into the realm of success. It all stems from what’s in your head, the thoughts, positive or negative, that you carry with you throughout the day.

You might not realize how those words get there or how easy it is to change negative self-talk over to the positive.

It all starts in the words you use throughout the day. Listen to yourself speak. What kinds of things are you saying to the people around you? What kind of tone do you adopt? 

By focusing on what comes out of your mouth, you’ll very quickly change how you’re talking to yourself in your head. So stop that rant, and look for the positive thing to say instead. The upside to this? People find you more enjoyable when you’re more positive in your conversations.

Talk about a win-win!

choose thoughts wisely

Who’s with You?

Have you felt like you’ve been dragging along without any genuine interest in the world around you? If so, you might want to do a quick self-check. Ask yourself what you have been telling yourself, and then ask yourself who you’ve been hanging out with.

Consider this fact: The way you talk to yourself doesn’t always start with you. Frequently our self-talk has more to do with the people we’re hanging around with and what we hear them say. Look around. Who are your friends? Which ones have the most decisive influence? What is their attitude toward you? Your goals? Or even life in general?

If you’re finding the people around you are more negative than positive, it’s time to make a change. Start seeking out people with positive attitudes. Engage in more lively conversation. It’s time to discover life with someone who wants to build you up, not hold you back.


What do you believe?

Our self-talk is frequently rooted in our beliefs about ourselves and the world. In today’s crazy world, there’s more negativity coming at you than positivity. Everyone can’t wait to tell you how something will go wrong, especially regarding what you dream of accomplishing.

Sadly, it’s easy to take these dire warnings and make them your own. When this happens, our self-talk becomes more and more negative until we can’t see success.

How to change this?

Start by seeing the possibility of success. Sure, it’s hard to try something new, but consider everyone who succeeded under similar circumstances. Look at all you’ve already accomplished. The idea of you achieving is just a thought away.

When you feel the possibility of success and your self-talk changes, you begin to see the positive and goals become attainable. Life becomes better than the old you could ever have believed possible. 

bad news

Why Are You Listening to Fake News?

Don’t you know the world is about to end? If you pay any attention to the news, you’ve seen doom and gloom predictions everywhere. It’s no wonder your self-talk has been suffering.

Positive self-talk becomes harder and harder to maintain when it’s constantly bombarded by outside sources telling you how things can go wrong. Soon those voices become your own, and you’re the one telling yourself failure is imminent.

The solution to this is relatively straightforward:

  1. Put yourself on a media diet.
  2. Turn off the news, shut down your browser, and don’t click on that link.
  3. Rather than becoming caught up in a whirlwind of panic, focus on what you know to be true. 

Your goals are reasonable. You can succeed.

That’s it—end of the story.


What’s the worst that can happen?

From the time we’re small, we’re taught to be wary of failure. It starts with our parents when we learn to walk, every warning to be careful, and each cried tear when we fall. As a result, we carry those fears into adulthood in the form of negative self-talk, which assures us that every time we try, we could equally fail.

The idea of failure is intimidating. We worry about embarrassment. We blow up the consequences in our minds until they’re far more significant than the reality. Self-talk invites us into a fantasy where the worst thing that can happen is for us to fail.

But failure doesn’t have to be scary. The lessons we gain from failure are the ones leading to eventual success. 

So the next time you catch yourself thinking you’re going to fail, add a hearty “so what?” to your self-talk. Remind yourself that even failure is good. With that in mind, you have nothing to fear after all.


Now See This

The problem with negative self-talk is we’ve got it all memorized.

There’s nothing new to be discovered in negativity. We’ve heard all the cautions, the warnings, the dire predictions so many times we can recite them word for word. Self-talk is repetitive and insidious, worming its way past every attempt to change it.

Why? It’s because it’s hard to remember the things you’re trying to use to replace all that negativity. Positive self-talk is difficult if you’re not used to it. After all, it takes a lot of repetition to break a habit.

The solution? Write out the positive things you want to say. By posting positive affirmations where you’re likely to see them, you remind yourself of the new dialogue you’re trying to form. This kind of repetition is how we create new habits. It’s also how you’re going to change your world.

thank you

Start by Saying “Thank You”

When you look outward at the world around you, your life changes significantly in ways you might never realize.

Negative Self-talk has a way of getting you down. The question is, how to get out of an endless loop of criticism and negative energy? The quick fix is to start with where you’re putting your attention. Take the attention off of yourself. Instead, consider how to leave a more positive impact on the world around you. 

How to do that?

Start small. Adopt an attitude of gratitude. Remember, being thankful brightens the day for you and the person you’ve shown appreciation to.

By making gratitude a regular practice, you’ll discover a shift in your thinking. Your self-talk shifts when looking at how the world blesses you instead of how it’s out to get you. Your world becomes more positive, and in the end, so do you.


Get Moving

Nothing negative comes from exercise. 

You improve your health with regular physical activity and become more creative. You think clearer. The resulting shift in brain chemicals is even more beneficial, leading to more positive and happy emotions.

Our self-talk reflects our mood. If you’re tired and feeling ill and draggy, it might be time to set your body in motion. Ten minutes of intentional physical activity will start the endorphins moving to where you need them to go. Out of shape? Start small and increase the time spent exercising every day.

Soon you’re going to see a positive change. You’ll feel better. More importantly, you’ll find you’re thinking in more positive ways. It’s all just a matter of moving around. 


 Let the Past Stay Buried

We’ve all had negative experiences in the past. You can’t exist without having had at least one person in your life who made you feel less than you are. Nor has every experience been perfect. It’s what we do with those experiences that matter most.

When we let the past influence our self-talk, we’re letting someone else have a voice in our current life. We’re listening to someone who isn’t even there anymore and allowing whatever harsh words they’ve said, whatever failure you’ve experienced, to dictate our actions. 

To change your self-talk to something more positive, you may need to make a conscious decision not to let the past dictate your actions. Stop listening to someone else, but instead give voice to your hopes and dreams. You’re replacing all the reasons why the past says you can’t do something with how you today say you can. 

dreaming teddy bear

Dream On!

What are your goals? How are you doing getting there?

Negative self-talk hides the roadmap to success and distracts you from possibilities. It wants to trap you in the past, not allow you to attain some great future. The only way past this kind of negative self-talk is through dreaming big.

Start by choosing a goal you believe in that you’ve always wanted to do. But you don’t stop there, as negative self-talk is great at ripping up dreams when they stand alone. From there, you need to create a plan of attack. What steps do you need to take to reach your goals? 

Why so much detail? Every step you list is the answer to another unspoken question. Negative self-talk loves to play devil’s advocate and find all the flaws in the plan. The more you have answers; the less negativity has to say.

Positive self-talk begins to form in its place, answering every question and doubt. Negativity no longer stands a chance.

And because our thoughts are becoming positive on a more regular basis, our bodies benefit from less stress and more positivity!


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